Catholic Marriage Preparation: What Pre-Cana Is and How to Prepare

What Pre-Cana is, and why the Church asks for it

Pre-Cana is the popular name for the marriage preparation Catholic couples complete before the wedding. The Church requires it because pastors are asked to make sure the faithful receive the help they need to enter marriage well (canon 1063). The USCCB says the aim is to help couples understand the sacrament better and weigh their readiness for married life. It is not an exam. Nobody fails Pre-Cana, but couples who treat it as a box to tick miss most of the benefit.

Sources: USCCB: marriage preparation; Code of Canon Law (Vatican)

When to start

The USCCB advises couples to contact the parish priest six to nine months before the intended wedding date. That is not bureaucracy for its own sake. Priests schedule weddings and programs well ahead, and preparation often includes several sessions or a weekend. If you are planning a date, ask your parish before you book a venue or send invitations.

Sources: USCCB: marriage preparation

The three common formats

The USCCB describes three ways dioceses and parishes usually deliver preparation. Which one you get depends on where you live, so ask your parish what is offered and whether you can choose.

• A weekend retreat for engaged couples, usually run by a diocese or movement.
• A sponsor couple: a married couple who meets with you over several sessions and shares what they have learned.
• A series of classes at the parish or diocese, often over a few weeks.

Sources: USCCB: marriage preparation

What you can expect to talk about

Programs differ, and you should ask your parish for its actual outline rather than rely on a generic list. Topics that dioceses commonly cover include the meaning of the sacrament, communication and conflict, money, family of origin, children and parenting, and the Church’s teaching on openness to life, often including a session on natural family planning. Many also use a questionnaire for each partner that you then discuss together. The point is to get hard topics out on the table while there is still time to talk calmly.

Sources: USCCB: marriage preparation

Paperwork and the meeting with your priest

Before the wedding the Church needs to be satisfied that nothing stands in the way of a valid marriage (canon 1066). In practice the priest or a deacon will meet each of you and ask about your freedom to marry, your faith, and your intentions. Many parishes ask for a recently issued baptismal certificate, and sacramental records for Confirmation if relevant. Requirements vary by diocese, so ask for the list early. If either of you has a previous marriage, a declaration of nullity must come first, which can take many months.

Read: Catholic dating after divorce or annulment

Sources: Code of Canon Law (Vatican)

If one of you is not Catholic, or not practising

You still do the preparation together. The non-Catholic partner is welcome to attend, and the sessions are where the questions about faith, children and Sunday habits can be said out loud. If your partner is not baptized, a dispensation will be needed, which your priest arranges as part of preparation.

Read: Can a Catholic marry a Muslim, a Jew or an Atheist? · Read: Can a Catholic marry a Protestant?

Outside the United States

The details change by country. The bishops’ conference in each country decides how preparation is delivered. In Ireland, for example, the Catholic Church has long worked with Accord, the Catholic marriage care service, on preparation courses, and civil notice requirements are separate from the Church’s. Wherever you live, your parish is the place to start, and the civil registrar is a second step you should not forget.

Five conversations that matter more than the certificate

A course gives you a place to talk. These are the topics worth finishing before the wedding, whatever your program covers.

• Money: income, debts, savings, giving, and who handles what.
• Children: how many, when, and what you will do if that plan runs into trouble.
• Faith at home: Mass, prayer, confession, and how you will raise children in the faith.
• In-laws and boundaries: how much time, help and opinion you expect from family.
• Conflict: how each of you behaves when angry, and how you repair afterwards.

Read: How long should Catholics date before marriage?